|
Home
Page
Real estate
Family Zone
Funny Stories
Clip
Art
Q: What's the definition of
mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new
car

20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters I
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags
of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come.
When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a
bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and
act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers.
Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come,
look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them
the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room.
When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do,
have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can
figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an
unnatural "whirring" sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.
7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and
don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.
8. When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the
street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"
9. When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked
and scared, and start screaming your
head off. Slam the door and runaround the house, screaming until they go
away.
10. Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you
give them any candy.

20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters II
11. Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their
candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.
12. Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone
who comes within 50 yards of your house.
13. When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing
through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.
14. Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters
for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a
calendar.
15. Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests,
explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.
16. Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the
trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.
17. Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten
candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it
again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy.
18. Hand out cigarettes and bottles of asprin.
19. Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your
porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.
20. Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you
open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters.
Slam the door when you're finished.

Things To Do In An Elevator
1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go
back for more.
3) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know
what floor your on.
4) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
5) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if
they have an appointment.
6) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
7) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they
can hear ticking.
8) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures
and exits with the passengers.
9) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't
panic, they open again!"
10) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut
up, all of you, just shut up!"
11) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask,
"Got enough air in there?"
12) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.
13) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.
14) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
15) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
 |