AHLU ALBAYT

An old woman came to our Holy Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) that I will enter Paradise." He (saw) said jokingly, "O Mother of so-and-so, no old women will enter Paradise." The old woman went away crying, after hearing from Holy Prophet (saw). Then Holy Prophet (saw) sent one of his companions to tell her that, she will enter Paradise by becoming a young lady, because the Paradise is for only young people.

The Holy Prophet (saw) said: "Do not laugh too much, for laughing too much deadens the heart." At another place, the Holy Prophet (saw) said: "If you knew what I know, you would laugh little and weep much."

Funny and Hilarious: American way of Journalism

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero," tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl." The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning: Brave American saves life of little girl" - the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" - says the man. "Oh, what are you then?" The man says: "I am a Saudi!" Then next day the newspapers say: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog."

Funny Story: Mulla Nasruddin and Speech

Once, the people of the city invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a speech. When he got on the pulpit (Minbar), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked: "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced: "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.

The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES", So Mulla Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mulla to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mulla Nasruddin said: "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

Hilarious Comedy: Three Wise Men

One day some wise men, who were going about the country trying to find answers to some of the great questions of their time, came to Mulla Nasruddin's district and asked to see the wisest man in the place. Mulla Nasruddin was brought forward, and a big crowd gathered to listen.

The first wise man began by asking, "Where is the exact center of the world?"

"It is under my right heel," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"How can you prove that?" asked the first wise man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "measure and see."

The first wise man had nothing to answer to that, so the second wise man asked his question. "How many stars are there in the sky?" he said. "As many as there are hairs on my donkey," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"What proof have you got of that?" asked the second wise man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "count the hairs on my donkey and you will see."

"That's foolish talk," said the other. "How can one count the hairs on a donkey?"

"Well," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "How can one count the stars in the sky? If one is foolish talk, so is the other." The second wise man was silent.

The third wise man was becoming annoyed with Mulla Nasruddin and his answers, so he said, "You seem to know a lot about your donkey, so can you tell me how many hairs there are in its tail?"

"Yes," answered Mulla Nasruddin. "There are exactly as many hairs in its tail as there are in your beard."

"How can you prove that?" said the other.

"I can prove it very easily," answered Mulla Nasruddin. "You can pull one hair out of my donkey's tail for every one I pull out of your beard. If the hairs on my donkey's tail do not come to an end at exactly the same time as the hairs in your beard, I will admit that I was wrong."

Of course, the third wise man was not willing to do this, so the crowd declared Mulla Nasruddin the winner of the day's arguments.

Funny and Hilarious: Mulla Nasruddin and Old Grave

One day, Mulla Nasruddin said to his friends: "If I die, bury me in an old grave." "Why", asked his friends. "Because", he explained, "if the angels come, I'll tell them that I died years before and have already been questioned and then they will return the way they came."

Funny and Hilarious: Walnut and Pumpkin

One hot day, Mulla Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eyeing speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.

Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! He mused. Just fancy letting tiny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines!

Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mulla Nasruddin's bald head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said:

Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!

Funny and Hilarious: Mulla Nasruddin and Turban

The wit and wisdom of Mulla Nasruddin never leaves him tongue-tied. One day an illiterate man came to Mulla Nasruddin with a letter he had received.

Mulla Nasruddin, please read this letter to me. Mulla Nasruddin looked at the letter, but could not make out a single word. So he told the man.

I am sorry, but I cannot read this. The man cried:

Shame, Mulla Nasruddin! You must be ashamed before the turban you wear (i.e. the sign of education).

Mulla Nasruddin removed the turban from his own head and placed it on the head of the illiterate man, said:

There, now you wear the turban. If it gives some knowledge, read the letter yourself.

Funny and Hilarious: Mulla Nasruddin and Blanket

One winter night while Mulla Nasruddin was sleeping he heard a noise that was suddenly made in the street. Having covered himself with his blanket, he came out to know the cause of the noise. Suddenly a smart thief robbed him of his blanket and ran away. He came back home without the blanket. In reply to his wife who was asking about the reason for the noise, Mulla Nasruddin said, "All the quarrel was about my blanket."