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Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas rather than through the door?
A. Because it soot’s him!

What kind of make up was the girl wearing on Halloween?
Mash-scara!

A man and his wife are sitting at the kitchen table, which is next to the window. The man's name is Rudolph, and since he is Russian, people call him "Rudolph the Red." Rudolph looked out the window and said to his wife, "Oh look honey, it's raining outside." She looks out as well and says, "No, I think that is snow." He looks at her and says, "Rudolph the red knows rain dear."