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Hawk and Tom were talking in
the bar. Hawk said," I just got kicked off the course for breaking 60."
Tom looked at him, amazed. " Breaking 60? That's amazing!"
Hawk smiled and said," Yeah, I never knew a golf cart could go that
fast!"
A scratch golfer hits his ball three hundred yards straight down the
fairway, and it hits a sprinkler and careens off into the woods. He
finds the ball, but trees surround it. He s pissed, says what the hell,
grabs his nine-iron, and hits the ball as hard as he can. It bounces off
a tree back at the golfer’s head and kills him.
He arrives in heaven, and God himself is at the Pearly Gates to greet
him. Looking up his records, God sees that the guy golf’s and says, “Are
you any good?”
The golfer looks at God and says, “I got here in two, didn’t I?”
Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of
them. One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up."
When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife
and the other one is my mistress." The second man said: "I'll walk up to
them and hurry them up." He came back and said: " We both have the same
problem.”
Barely twenty minutes after teeing off a woman walks into the
clubhouse and she's grimacing in pain.
"What's the matter?” The club pro asked
" I got stung by a bee" the woman replied
"Where" The club pro said
"Between the first and second holes"
"hmmmmm" The pro said " Sounds like your stance is a little too wide"
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