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ix guys were playing poker
when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops
dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other
five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and
asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?" They draw straws. Rippington,
who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be
discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is.
"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet.
Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Rippington walks over to
the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, and asks what he
wants. Rippington says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards." She
hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!" Rippington says, "I'll tell him.
A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat
with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.
Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?
Brother 2: He's Dead
Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat.
Couldn't you think of a nicer way to tell me! I'm leaving in 3 days. You
could of broke me to the news easier. You could of told me today that
she got out of the house or something. Then when I called before I left
you could of told me, Well, we found her but she is up on the roof and
we're having trouble getting her down. Then when I call you from the
airport you could of told me, The Fire Department was there and scared
her off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground.
Brother 2: I'm sorry...you're right...that was insensitive I won't let
it happen again.
Brother 1: Alright, alright, forget about it. Anyway, how is Mom doing?
Brother 2: She's up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her
down.
A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and
asked him to pray for them. "I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," he
replied, "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you."
When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple's
house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of
twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he
could congratulate him.
"He's gone to Rome, to blow that candle out" came the harried reply.
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very
hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if
you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear
from you.
Love,
Your $on
The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep
even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge
is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
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